Hey sis,
There’s a concept that I have wrestled with finding my way to walk in with no guilt attached. This is the idea of living a soft life. Whether it be the influence of the world around me and culture, or perhaps my need to attach my identity to the pride I bear because of the hardships I’ve faced in my life. Over time, I have found that I’ve learned to endure and as a result, this has forced me to grow into a young woman who is resilient and strong. In this strength and resilience, however, I’ve often found myself playing the role of the strong friend, the one who picks herself up and recovers immediately after pain, the one who puts everyone else’s wants and needs first, the one who struggles to create healthy boundaries in fear of upsetting others, or the one who allows mistreatment because I care, and I can take it. Side note: just because you are strong enough to carry something does not mean you have to. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a good thing to have resilience and to be strong; they just cannot be your defining characteristics. You are called to be a whole, and multi-faceted woman. So as much as you embrace your strength, I implore you to also explore your softness.
In a day and age where the hustle and grind culture is glorified, on many occasions, we are pressured to show up and always be busy. To always have something to show for what we’ve done with our time. Whether that’s obtaining the degree, getting the job, then excelling in the role, buying the properties and the cars, meeting your soulmate and getting married, settling down to have children, raising those children well, living out your purpose all while wearing several hats. The question always begs, “What’s next?” Throughout various walks of life, we've all felt that pressure when asked that loaded question. What are you doing to account for your time on earth? Societal pressures allow us to feel overwhelmed and begin to work on their time. When we compare with those around us, we fail to realize whose time we’re really on.
In understanding I have a heavenly Father who goes to war on my behalf, I don’t have to strain myself chasing people, things, relationships, or opportunities. When I revel in the understanding that there is an intricate plan, a delicate purpose, and a unique calling that has been destined for me, I relax in knowing I am right where I need to be. This relieves the pressure of showing up strong and ready to start swinging every day. There is a time and place for that, but girl, it’s not every day.
I read a quote somewhere that defined soft girl season as, “a season where women trade living in survival mode for a more peaceful lifestyle.” So, sis, rest. You’ve made it this far and you deserve peace. You deserve joy. You deserve a life that comes with ease. What God has for you will never pass you by, you can’t overperform or overwork your way into a life that is destined for you. Make room for stillness, and in the quiet, in a still small voice, if where you will hear divine direction and instruction.
I fully am embracing this soft girl season and saying if it doesn’t come with ease, with joy, or with peace, I don’t need it. There’s beauty in starting to treat yourself with the same gentle hands that you extend to others. There’s strength in no longer glorifying the struggle. There’s peace that is connected to allowing yourself room to stretch, to grow, and to set the boundaries in place for yourself to live a full life. The life that God intends for you to live as a King’s daughter. There’s exhilaration in giving yourself the grace to pick up the pieces, do things a new way and show up as the version of you that you are today. The only way you’ll serve the season is by showing up as today’s version of you. Give her a little grace.
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